Time Out for Humor

"How 'bout that John McCain, you like John McCain? I like John McCain. He looks like a guy who goes grocery shopping and yells at the bagboy, 'Put the eggs on top. Hey, hey junior, put the eggs on top.' He looks like a guy who still calls the TV the 'Idiot Box.' ... He looks like a guy you take shopping and have to yell into the changing room, 'Everything alright in there, pop?'"
David Letterman

"I guess you heard, Barack Obama's former pastor, Reverend Wright, is now traveling the country trying to explain those controversial remarks he made in some of his sermons. And even Barack Obama is starting to admit it's hurting his campaign. In fact, you know what Barack Obama did today to distract reporters from Reverend Wright? He went bowling again."
Jay Leno

Top 10 Surprising Facts about Barack Obama

"Barack Obama announced that after all the insulting comments and bitterness, he is severing his 20-year relationship with Reverend Wright. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Wait, you can do that with someone?'"
Conan O'Brien

"David Blaine today broke the world record for holding his breath, on 'Oprah' - 17 minutes, four seconds. Blaine has now frozen himself, he's starved himself, he's gone without sleep for weeks, and deprived himself of oxygen. Today, Dick Cheney said, 'See, it's not torture. It's magic.'"
Jimmy Kimmel

"Hillary Clinton announced today she'll appear on 'The O'Reilly Factor.' That should be a great confrontation. On one side, a loudmouthed bully who wants to tear apart the Democratic Party and on the other side, there's Bill O'Reilly."
Craig Ferguson

The Word - Separation of Church & Plate

"And his daughter, you know, is getting married, Jenna Bush. She was on Larry King talking about it. Kind of a big brouhaha with the Republicans going on here, because she said she wasn't sure that she was going to support McCain. She said she's 'open to learning' about the other candidates.' Because they haven't been on TV a lot. But come on, this is kind of a treason in the Bush family. Not supporting a Democrat -- being open to learning. That's outrageous."
Bill Maher

"How about that John McCain? John McCain is the guy, don't you think? I like John McCain. He looks like the kind of guy that walks into Circuit City and says, 'Do you have typewriter ribbons?'"
David Letterman

-RSKnopfJr