On the Side

Hoorah for Free Food (and not MRE's)

I salute you, Bloomin' Onion, for offering your greasy, spicy, deep fried, horsy-type sauce accompanied self up for free consumption by some of our nation's best. You are indeed a king among onions for your delicious generosity. You'll even by served with a free beverage.

There are others who should be commended for pledging to feed vets and active duty personnel on and near Veterans' Day. More than I can recognize here, but I'll name a few more, just for good measure.

Aside from the free Bloomin' Onion and drink deal on Veteran's Day, which falls on Wednesday this week, Applebee's is offering to feed such individuals a whole meal if they can show proof of active or vet status. Meals to choose from aren't anything to scoff at, either. They include three-cheese penne, fire pit bacon burger, fiesta lime chicken, chicken tenders platter, 7-oz. sirloin steadk, and oriental chicken salad.

For dessert, Krispy Kreme franchises will hand over one free donut of any variety to our servicemen and women.

And on Monday, Nov. 16, Golden Corrals across the country will offer free buffets to those who have risked their lives to preserve our freedoms. According to the company's website, it has offered more than 2.2 million free meals to veterans over the years, and contributed more than $3.3 million to the Disabled American Veterans organization. Yee haw, GC!

So if you have the opportunity, thank a vet or active duty military person for all they've done for us. And if you have the inclination, buy them a beer to go with that burger or a coffee to go with that donut.

Transvestites in Paradise

I'm baaaack. Hope you all had as good of a summer as I did. Evidence of mine exists here to the right. It's the view of our motel's beach just north of Marathon, Fla. in the keys. Makes you want to dive right in there and bask in the warmth, doesn't it? And damn if it wasn't roasting there in mid July. On the other hand, we did watch a guy snag a baracuda from the very dock I stood on to take this picture. After he released it, he claimed it was wearing lipstick and spouting nonsense about "death panels" in the democrat-sponsored health care bill...

At any rate, we sampled some great food in the keys. On the other end of the dock was a superb outdoor bar/restaurant that offered everything from shrimp pasta alfredo to the catch of the day. Ocean Breezes also served up some really good basics, like this chicken salad. I couldn't help myself - I had to take a picture of it since it was plated so nicely. And there's just something about sipping a cold beer or margarita in a Key West bar that also makes me want to return to that isle of drag queens and free range roosters.

Did any of you partake of any superb vacation fare?

With Labor Day and the county fair behind us, fall will be kicking into high gear soon. It's always busy season for reporters, but hopefully I can squeeze in a few posts every now and then for your entertainment (my entertainment too, truth be told). Next up is a potluck for three co-workers who will be leaving us for various reasons. And I'm sure I can turn that into a post that could, um, potentially spark some dialogue.

American Pies

Mysterious flyers began going up on Courier walls last week proclaiming today, Friday the 23rd, as "National Pie Day." Apparently some people decided to make it a "Bring Your Favorite Pie to Work" day as well. Was I up to the challenge? Oh you betcha.

"Hopefest '09," as designated by The Daily Show, gave me motivation and courage to tackle the difficult, annoying task of baking an apple pie from scratch. And I'm talking no canned filling AND no pre-made crust, folks. After almost forgetting about the whole event Thursday night, baking commenced at 8 p.m. and was punctuated shortly thereafter by an emergency run to the grocery for heavy cream. The spouse generously peeled and sliced apples in the meantime. Another co-worker at the store proclaimed she was buying her pie. "I should've just gone to Brinkman's! Why do I always do this to myself?" I whined. No wonder people opt for store bought - it's much less hassle and cheaper. By my estimate, I spent at least $10 on this baked good.

Four hours later though came the marvelous creation up above. I figured if I was going to break that much sweat making the thing, I might as well include some pie art as well. See the pretty leaf cut-outs and such? I've got to admit that it was a damn fine looking pie. But was it edible?

As evidenced, plenty of other pies were brought in. Key limes and pecans and peaches and even a rare chicken pot pie that people tackled for breakfast. According to a handful of apple pie eaters, the pie lived up to its appearance. People liked it and so did I. In fact, it might just become a Hancock County Fair entry this summer.

Do any of you still bake things like this completely from scratch? What do you make?

Trippy

Leave it to Tamera Rooney and Company at United Way to come up with a unique, fun and yummy event to raise money for United Way.

"The World of Downtown Restaurants" will be held from 5-10 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 20. It will be a self-guided walking tour of 13 establishments between the bridge and Hardin Street.

I know, I know - we're facing hard economic times, Christmas commercials have started and you barely have the spare change to buy chicken chunks with orange sauce from the vending machine at work. I hear you, and trust me, these days I definitely empathize. But like I've said before, and I'm sure you've heard before, IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE!

For $20 you not only get to help United Way help other people who are having a tougher time of it than you, but you also get to patronize some places you might not have otherwise. The restaurants are donating samples for the event - a generous endeavor considering many of them are struggling themselves to keep their doors open. They need all the help they can get too. So if you're game for this, think about spending a couple extra bucks on a good beer or appetizer as you hop along.

The following will be included in the tour: Morey's, Japan West, Coffee Amici, Fox's Pizza, Rossilli's Restaurant, The Gathering, Tavern at the Inn, Greek Garden, Bistro on Main, Waldo Pepper's, Revolver, Joey Fratello's and Main Street Deli.

Some places will also provide live music. Participants can go at their own pace. The tour will happen rain or shine.

People can get "passports" at Morey's, 414 S. Main St.; Main Street News, 501 S. Main St.; Coffee Amici, 328 S. Main St.; Mother Hubbard's Learning Cupboard, 219 Broadway St.; and United Way of Hancock County, 245 STanford Parkway. Only 300 passports will be sold.

"Our downtown restaurants represent many different cultures. In one block we have Greek, Japanese and Italian food. This is something to celebrate. We thought that this would be a great way to promote the diverse menus of these establishments while also raising funds for the community, said Andrea Kramer Fetterman of City Apparel, who is also United Way mercantile division chair.

Best Buy will also be providing equipment to project the Live United videos on the side of the building in the Millstream Art Plaza at the corner of Main and Sandusky streets.

Major event sponsors are Best Buy, City Apparel, The Courier, Eoff Insurance Agency, Group Benefit Consultants, H&O Services, Millstream Area Credit Union and Pry Professional Group.

For more info call United way at (419) 423-1432 or visit www.uwhancock.org.

Palin's Press Pastries

Reporters, by nature, are hungry. And not just hungry for a scoop of some hot, fresh and interesting news. We usually become hungry in the presence of food, whether we just ate or not. I personally favor assignments that involve meals; my perennial favorite is the Rotary's Golden Apple awards lunch. Some of us even have the uncanny ability to sniff out goodies located far far away from us - just ask our bloodhound photographer Randy Roberts. That man can hone in on a chocolate chip cookie that's been hidden in the dark depths of the Courier's underground garage.

But then again, sometimes we're hungry for legitimate reasons, and this happened to be the case with our not-so-fearless reporter Michelle Reiter. Assigned to do crowd coverage for the Palin rally, Michelle made the mistake of arriving on an empty stomach that morning.

Salvation seemed to be in sight when she spotted a table full of pastries, but it was not meant to be. After grabbing one of these delicacies, she suddenly had a bad feeling about it, as if she'd entered the wrong classroom in high school during a lecture, and everyone looked at her, and she felt stupid. A sign indicated the food was for the "traveling press," which, of course, she was not. Within seconds, a food/press Nazi had descended upon her, ordering her to drop the pastry and back away. Never mind that most of that food probably gets tossed uneaten into the garbage can - Michelle, like me, was a worthless, shabby excuse of a press example not suitable for the likes of the Palin traveling press crew's muffins or risers placed around the arena.

"I need room! Sorry lady!" barked one member of the traveling press, wielding a heavy TV camera with a tripod. Earlier, the same food/press Nazi had descended upon me, claiming I should move from the riser or else the traveling press would shove me out of the way. I stood my ground, but alas, hungry Michelle did not. She put the pastry down, backed away as instructed, and left with a disconcerting first-person account of how local reporters, while not having to wait in line for such events, are not always treated the greatest inside the venue.

Granted, I can see how hard it would be to have a job that required you to ride buses and fly all day after a politician that you may or may not like. You'd go for several hours sometimes with no food. You'd get cranky. Lonely. Bitter. You'd get tired, and sometimes you may get sick. But come on, people, have a heart for a hungry journalist!

What would've happened had Michelle taken a bite out of the pastry is anyone's guess. Would the secret service have descended? Would Palin have ranted about the liberal media's need for more pastry policing? The world will never know.

Have you ever been scolded for allegedly taking food that wasn't meant for you?

Lobster Lust

The Ides of March finally arrived on Saturday and brought with it a heaping plate of gifts from the sea. It's a no-brainer that I celebrate my birthday each year with a dining out adventure, and this year was no different. Only this time I purposefully chose a venue that some might consider downscaling.

When a mall clerk asked the spouse and I where we'd be celebrating, I sheepishly admitted we'd be hitting Red Lobster. I say sheepishly because, while I remember the place being quite the special or even swanky eatery back in the day, it's since become like nearly every other chain restaurant - commonplace. The clientelle is the same there as you'd find at McDonalds. Much of the menu items are reheated. And HQ is making an extra special effort with the wait staff these days by having them tell patrons that they'll "be taking excellent care" of them.

And still, I lust after Red Lobster. Like a pregnant lady who hasn't eaten in an hour, I crave it constantly. One time I even tried to make knock-off cheddar bay biscuits and failed miserably - and I've found I'm not the first to try it. In fact, everyone I talk to still raves about those biscuits, and still patronizes the place.

Really, though, I think much of my Lobster lust has to do with butter. The spouse cringes whenever he sees me with a bowl of scampi because once I polish off the shrimp, I grab a spoon and slurp the remaining liquid like it's soup.

Saturday, I still got my Lobster butter fix, but in a different way. I went all out for my 30-something milestone by ordering the ultimate Lobsterfest combo platter, the Lobster Lover's Dream. I'm talking roasted rock and Main lobster tails; along with shrimp, lobster and langostino linguini alfredo for $30.99. Oftentimes it's easy to overcook seafood, but the Lobster got it right for my meal. Sweet, tender Main tail, along with firmer, mild rock tail got drenched in butter and consumed with the buttery pasta. Lordy it was gooooood.

Online Editor Rebecca Conklin's recent Whirled Peas blog post mentioned the seven deadly, or mortal sins, and I surely committed them all this weekend. I lusted after the Dream platter; ate it all, except for the healthy wild rice; bought the most expensive item on the menu; slipped into a semi-coma afterward; was ticked at the slow-moving week last week; became envious of others' dinners I saw, before I got mine, that included lobster; and felt pretty sure that my dinner couldn't have been topped by anything else there.

Lobsterfest only happens for a limited time each year, so if you're in the mood for some lobster, not to mention butter, I suggest you get thee to they closest Red Lobster and proceed to feast.

Brown's Brownies

Since it's that day of the year again where certain people get all sappy and cheesy, and since it's generally quite the big day for eating (chocolates and dinners out and whatnot) I concluded I couldn't ignore Valentine's Day on ye olde foodie bloggery. So here I offer a completely disjointed posting:

First, I give you the two foremost V-Day food reminiscences that came to mind. The first is circa 1997. Galion, Ohio. I made brownies (boxed, of course) for the guy I was dating at the time, and even went so far as to cut out little paper hearts, place them on the uncut brownies still in the pan, and sprinkle powdered sugar over top. Man, I was creative back in the day. And no, those brownies to the left there aren't my '97 goodies, but don't they look good? Afterward we watched our favorite show that featured movie promos and parties with movie stars from the 1950s and '60s. The announcer and camera man wer obsessed with Nancy Sinatra. Every other take was of her, with the announcer proclaiming "And there's Nancy! Isn't she a peach, folks?" You could almost make a drinking game out of it.

My second memory is hazy, and involves a rowdy dinner with other couples at Rossilli's, circa 2002. An unnamed acquaintance didn't finish a bottle of wine, so she stuffed it into her purse. I, in turn took off with every leftover roll on the table. I don't remember much after that. Maybe the spouse, who was my date that night, does.

And here we have a picture of my desk flowers today. Aren't they adorable? A tradition I've carried over from my single days lives on - that of buying myself flowers. These are from Sink's on Second Street. They aren't food, but they feed my flower-craving soul. Hey, we've got to treat ourselves every now and then, right?

So are any of you celebrating in style today, or are you shunning the Hallmark Holiday in favor of, say, pancakes for dinner followed by a cozy viewing of "Platoon"?

It's Chili Out There

One of the most delicious Findlay events of the season will take place this Saturday - Cancer Patient Services' Chili Cook-Off at the University of Findlay's Koehler Recreation Center from 5-7:30 p.m.

The 11th annual family event will feature up to 30 teams vying for the right to josh the others for the remainder of the year about who can and can't make the most satisfying bowl of beans and whatnot. Putt-putt, hoop throws, giant inflatables, a super silent auction and more will also keep people entertained.

Tickets are $6 for adults, $4 for those ages 6-17 and kids under five will be admitted free. The money benefits a great nonprofit. CPS helps local cancer patients and their families by providing materials like bandages, nutritional supplements and wheelchairs. It also offers financial reimbersement for a variety of expenses; up to $150 per month is available for chemotherpay or other cancer-related medications. Financial assistance is available for special items like prosthetic devices and wigs.

So come Saturday evening remember to pull on a couple wool sweaters, pick up your crampons, grab your Sherpa and head to the Koehler Center for some grub. With two Rite-Aid stores now open on North Main Street and completely stocked with Beano and Malox, you'll have no excuse.

Fanatics

Thank you, Sting, for making today's shopping experience a little better.

Sting wasn't actually at Meijer, of course, but he still took me to a far away land which enabled me to recall the summer of 1993. Were any of you, perchance, at the Grateful Dead show at Buckeye Lake that year? If you were, but in case you can't remember that fact, Sting opened for the Dead, and his album Ten Summoner's Tales was popular, and it all seems so long ago (probably because it actually was). Anyway, one of the tunes from that album was playing today and a warm summer evening at a concert was far preferable to the hell that greeted us in reality.

First Sunday of the month plus day before championship bowl game in which Ohio State is playing equals a swarm at each and every grocery. A swarm converging on beer and chips and meat and cheese. A swarm mingling with the usual families with children and after church folk and people who don't give a damn about others in their vacinity who want to get around their cart and adults just trying to buy a week's supply of eats. It was mania.

But luckily we made it through there in OK form, and weren't on a quest for finger foods. In fact, we're not planning on attending any football parties, and may not even watch the game, seeing as how we're not really Buckeye fans. But an event like this certainly calls for good and plentiful fare at many households, much of it regionally inspired according to team loyalties. I just finished a story tonight about LSU fans planning on getting together and cooking a slew of Cajun yummies. Have any of you ever eaten turducken? I haven't, but would love to try it sometime. Do you have any unusual recipes that you traditionally make for a big game, be it football or curling?

A Fowl Situation

And so this is Christmas. And I'm sitting at my desk here at work because I grabbed the short straw and had to type obituaries on Jesus' birthday. Anyway, rather than writing a whole Saturday morning column that would probably have the potential of igniting World War III (much more so than that featuring my friend Chuck Norris), I've decided to vent just a tad here, because this vent most definitely involves food.

In my family, we eat turkey on Christmas Day. Every year. It's just as much of a tradition as Santa and opening gifts and playing with the nativity scene characters, as my sister and I enjoy doing (can you find what's out of place with this year's manger scene, pictured above?). Only this year the spouse and I left hungry. We were turkeyless, you might say. We now know exactly how The Old Man in "A Christmas Story" must've felt when the Bumpus' dogs tore through the house, grabbed the bird and galloped through the back door.

Here's what happned - the Honeysuckle White wasn't done by the time we had to leave so that I could make it to work on time. It wasn't even close to being done. The 13-some pounder, buttered and stuffed, was carefully placed in the oven around 9 a.m. and by 12:30 p.m. was running afoul of the law of the Brown household. The oven seemed to be in working older, so that couldn't have been the reason. Perhaps the bird was still a wee bit too frozen and just needed more time. Maybe it was simply staging a revolt. A call came this afternoon, reporting the turkey had finally stopped flapping its wings and become edible at 2 p.m.

At any rate, no turkey for me. I was beside myself. Distraught. Nearly unable to cope. I screamed in the car like Howard Dean. On the hour and a half ride home, I eyeballed homes with cars, wondering if they'd take us in like Mary and Joseph and feed us turkey. I watched other cars whiz by, certain they were on their way to cooked, juicy dark meat with stuffing and fixins. A Willie Nelson Christmas song came on and I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head, longing for a harmonica so I could properly express my blues with my own bad music. "Feed the World" began to play and I suggested they could set aside their U2-esque jam and start by feeding me first.

I began to think of alternatives, no matter how humiliating. Having absolutely no shame, I called two friends to see if they could help me get my turkey fix. No deal - one set of friends said they were having manicotti (delicioso, but far from turkey) while another had steak. The spouse drew the line and refused to call local veterans clubs for me to see if they were serving free turkey dinners (I suggested he could drop some cash and claim he'd like a to-go plate for a shut-in). I briefly wondered if I could get away with dropping by the City Mission.

It was a sad sight indeed as I gulped down two fried eggs before heading to work. My co-workers tonight are most likely ready to muzzle me if I say one more word about how tragic it is that I brought a peanut butter sammich instead of turkey leftovers.

Ultimately, I caved and shamelessly ate steak leftovers graciously offered. I dragged the spouse along, figuring he needed to eat too (our only other alternative for tonight, with the ingredients we had, was tuna noodle casserole). He went, but said he felt "weird" about our scavenging. Never mind the fact that he was the one who joked "onward to the next house!" as we walked out their door. A bazzilion thanks to my steak friends!

At this point, though, it's around 9:45 p.m. and my hopes for a Christmas miracle involving someone walking through the door carrying a plate loaded with turkey and stuffing is virtually nil. And so tomorrow will call for a trip to the grocery - Two Days After Christmas turkey will be better than none.